4th of July

It was a very quiet fourth of July this year...in fact, it didn't really feel like a holiday at all.  On the actual day, we had a rib dinner, at Angelina's request.  That's about the extent of our holiday.  No fireworks, no friends, no celebration.  We just had a "normal" day, where we pretty well did our own thing.  Pretty depressing, and memories of last year came back for me.  We had two adorable little girls last year in addition to my beautiful daughter.  We celebrated in Santa Barbara at my cousin's house.  It was an amazing time.  At that time, they hadn't actually moved in with us...we were in the getting acquainted stage.  For those of you who don't know the foster care system, they "debrief" you on the children, you decide if you want to move forward, you meet them, then you start visits.  This was one of those visits right before they moved in with us.  In retrospect, I guess it was a mistake to have them move in with us because we had information that they may not get to stay with us, but we wanted it so badly, we did it anyway.  I say a mistake, not because it wasn't a joy getting to know them, but because that was a blown opportunity for my daughter...an unnecessary pain that might have not put us in the situation we are in right now.,,but hindsight.....out of the five foster children we had, they were the only ones that we had with us during the fourth, so that is why I have digressed today.

Back to the now, the city of Desert Hot Springs decided to have their fireworks the day after the fourth....go figure....I went back and forth about going.  Angelina and Paul did not want to go, but in my heart, it felt like it was something I needed to do.  So I hopped on the golf cart and drove down the street, by myself, and watched them.  As I waited, I heard families gathering, laughing, enjoying themselves...and I cried....

But now, I'm okay again.  It's another day, and I'm trying to move on...one step at a time...one holiday at a time....

Grand Canyon, 2015

Because our life has been in utter chaos and limbo for the last three years, and we just recently decided to pull out of the foster program, we never could make any real big plans for the summer.  So for the summer of 2015, we had already planned little trips, in case...well, you know......which never worked out anyway.

So our first trip was the Grand Canyon.  My hubs and I have both been there before, but only briefly.  And our daughter never has gone and had expressed interest a while back...so we drove down to Williams, AZ, and took their train ride.  It was perfect...a scenic ride to the Canyon, and got to spend a little time there touring on a bus and stopping to look at some cool spots, and then headed back.  Enough for us, as we are not the hiking type of family.  Also, Angelina wouldn't come near the sides, so really, it was perfect.  Got some cool photos...and I'm okay with that!

 Me, of course

 Paul, my hubs

 Woo Hoo!

 Family picture

 

Introduction

Okay, so let me explain.  I had a blog.  It was my family blog.  It ran for about 4 years.  Then life happened.   We tried to expand our family through adoption.  For privacy reasons, I couldn't post all of that on a blog...well, correction, I could have if I didn't name names or didn't post pictures or hid their beautiful faces.

Long story short, life went on.  I lost a lot of years of memories from not blogging...for that, I will be eternally remorseful.  I have pictures...somewhere....but for now, I'm going to use this as my new blog, to pick up where my family is at right now.

My former blog was Desert Sunbeams and it consisted of the three of us, my hubs, my daughter Angelina, and myself.  Sadly, in the last five years, I've had and lost five other children through the foster care system.  I might share those experiences later....perhaps I'll throw in memory entries...that remains to be seen.

However, my main purpose of this new blog is to start anew, redefining our family and preserving the memories that are left to be made.  And sadly, my daughter, who is now 11, is a different girl now.  She is no longer that innocent, carefree child that she was years ago when I blogged, so don't expect a lot of photos.  It may end up being a written memory blog...and that's okay with me.  I just want to preserve the memories that make being a mom so wonderful!  As I read through the old blog, I was reminded of funny stories and interesting tales that I didn't even remember so I'm glad I wrote those down.  I wish I had kept it up, but.....

Okay, that's pretty much it.   I hope to record many more memories of my daughter and family as she grows into a beautiful young lady!

Funny, the only family pictures I have are Christmas...but this is our family at this point in time....